Losing a person to death is always painful, but I am thankful that when I am feeling weak and down, I have people who try to comfort me and just listen to me. Receiving a call about the death of a loved one for the second time is not an easy thing for me. I really hate receiving such calls from home because it hurts deeply, especially when I know that I could not go home and be there with the rest of the family. I am thankful, however, that I was able to go home for my beloved grandmother's funeral. Reaching home at 12.30 a.m. on Sunday night, I was greeted by my mother. I could not say a word, I just cried and hugged her while she led me to where the coffin was situated. I broke down as I saw my grandmother lying in the coffin. My dad offered me a chair, and I just cried my eyes away. Some of my aunts and cousins came to me and comforted me, either by words or just by touch. I looked at my grandmother's now peaceful face, no more suffering for her, now she can rest peacefully until the second coming of Jesus.

I was close to my grandmother and losing someone close is really painful. It feels different now, I feel an emptiness that could only be filled with my grandmother's presence. Even now, a week after her passing, I feel that she's still alive and I will be able to see her again when I go home. Like what my uncle said in his little speech (representing his 11 brothers and sisters) during the funeral, now we are like chicks left alone by their mother.

I have always admired the strength that my grandmother possessed. My grandfather died in 38 years ago and since then, my grandmother raised 6 sons, 5 daughters and 1 adopted daughter. She still worked in the paddy fields even when she was in her 70s and early 80s. Her hair remained black in colour while her children's were already growing white. If she didn't have that stroke two years ago, I believe she would still be here with us today. But I am comforted by thought that she would no longer be suffering from her sickness and that I would see her again when that day comes.

Ms. Julie gave me a book this afternoon. The title of the book is "Praying Our Goodbyes" by Joyce Rupp. Here's one paragraph that I liked:

"Do we ever get used to saying goodbye? Or should we? I think not. Saying goodbye helps us to experience the depths of our human condition. It leads us to a much deeper understanding of what it means to live life in its mystery and its wholeness. We ought not to be afraid of the partings that life asks of us. Nor ought we to hold back in giving ourselves fully to love, to the wonderful growth opportunities of investing ourselves in people and events."

Thank you for offering comfort in this time of grief. You are all blessings sent from heaven :D

Have a good day and Happy Valentine's Day!

p/s: I think the entry about the "Hebrewonic Claw" will be canceled. Hehe. Actually it was just a strange dream that I had two weeks ago.